Fast, cheap, good. This much is true. You can't have three, but you can have two. Other (common) cases no one bothers to mention: one | none.
There always needs to be a first post, right? This is that post. Writing it evokes the eery sensation of sliding back into 1997. Before CSS. Before WordPress. When size 8 courier was a badass typographical choice. When complex layouts were painstakingly crafted from 0px border frames and 1px gifs. When it still felt faintly plausible that you could, if you really worked at it, meet everyone in your country who happened to go online.